Okay, I'm going to assume if you're reading my blog that you may run in similar circles to my own and not be familiar with the internet phenomenon of Chuck Norris jokes. I've heard a few over the last several months and after a few, they start getting funny. I don't know... I tried a couple on the girls in the office and they just stared blankly at me, like calves looking at a new gate. Anyway, like the old Paul Bunyan jokes of old, the hero of the day is Chuck Norris... If you want a better explanation than all that, check out Chuck Norris jokes on Wikipedia, which by the way is a great place to learn about almost anything you don't know yet.
Without further ado...
The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type “Chuck Norris” into Google and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky!”.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris doesn’t have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses. That’s why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Okay, I'll quit. These are just too funny.
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